Bamboo, Five Toads and a Snake

(Note added on 10/20/08): I am tired of everyone coming here for the photo of the copperhead snake, I am taking it off the post.)

(Note added on 6/8/08: over the past few days hundreds of people from all over the net have visited this post. Why? Where is the link to the copperhead snake photo? I'm really curious and would love to know. Would someone please answer in the comments? Thanks... Brenda)

Vacation is over, and we're home. It was wonderful and relaxing, and... just like an Animal Planet episode! It all began last Monday. J and I hit Publix at 10:30 to pick up the groceries for the trip. Two hours (and two carts) later we got back home and started packing, and loading the food and ice into the coolers. We were on the road by... 4:00. Not the best time to get on I-85 heading north, but it was okay.

A couple of hours later we were in Deliverance Country. the gorgeous cabin shown here wasn't the one we had, but we had the same wonderful screened-in porch and we had *two* picnic tables. Ours was painted a blend-into-the-forest green. Here are some highlights of the trip:

Dave arrived Tuesday night and we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows in our fire pit. Thursday we grilled steaks over charcoal on our outdoor primitive grill. Note: No other method of cooking a hot dog can hold a candle to roasting over an open flame. other Note: I am the undisputed champion of the perfect roasted marshmallow--golden-brown all over and evenly melted through. Marshmallows and Merlot.... yumm. Jessie doesn't like her marshmallows roasted at all, and Dave is a quick burn kind of guy.

Our cabin had a resident deer mouse I named Alphonse (heck, it probably had all of his sisters, brothers, cousins and living ancestors too. Mouse poop ahoy!). One night I was reading in the big chair in the living room and I looked up to see a mouse shimmying down the wall. When he got to the ground he dashed into our bedroom with me in hot pursuit. A couple of hours later I came face to face with him in the kitchen by the microwave. He was absolutely adorable, but I still would rather he had stayed outside. Every night after that we heard him partying till dawn--in the kitchen, in our room, even in the underside of our bed! Good thing we had big plastic totes to keep all of our food in.

The forests of South Carolina are being taken over by timber bamboo, and no one there--the park ranger included--has any idea. I was amazed at the proliferation of timber bamboo seedlings throughout the forest. It is by far the most common species of plant I saw and it all seems to be about the same age and grown from seed. Don't the park rangers and forest service see what's going on?

Yeah, right now it's all 2-5 feet tall and 1/4" in diameter. But they have mature groves of it (which must have flowered to produce the seed which produced all these seedlings), they can see how dense and tall it gets. I would think the native pines, oaks and maples don't stand a chance against it. Just wait another 5-10 years...

We were warned about the copperhead snakes, the cane rattle snakes and the diamond-back rattle snakes, but I really thought they were exaggerating. Nope. Jessie and I went for a walk at 9:30 last night to see all the toads that come out onto the road at 9:00 every night. A rain of toads every night at 9:00. But since we didn't get out till 9:30 we missed much of the rain and only saw five toads. Dave was nursing a cold and stayed in the cabin. As we were walking back along the road in the full dark we saw a copperhead snake in the road ahead of us--good thing we had our torches, huh?. It coiled to strike and we skirted quickly and carefully around it. It was just a little one, but still...

Thursday the three of us hiked to Hidden Falls from our cabin--about six miles round trip. There was a newly-fallen tree across the path 50 yards from the end that we had to go around (that was a bit hairy, but we all made it okay). We had lunch at the base of the falls and I picked a tick off my foot. South Carolina is just FILLED with critters!

Wednesday night we listened to the telling of the legend of the Guern (the bootlegger who owned the land the park is now on and he wouldn't sell. They destroyed the dam above his property to make the lake at the campground and the water took out his still--which exploded, cutting him to little pieces. He still haunts the place and there have been disappearances and even a death laid at his door). Then we watched fireworks over the lake put on by the Park Rangers. Grant Park it wasn't, but in its own way, it was better.

Lastly, but not leastly, sleeping in a hard little double bed for six nights was... interesting. Dave and I got it down to kind of a ballet of synchronized spooning. That was definitely better than the first night when I slept with J before Dave got there. She may be smaller but she packs a punch. I'm sleeping, minding my own business (by definition) and WHAM, a kick to the stomach. I recover from that, drop back off, and, WHAM a right hook flail to the eye. Jessie is a very restless sleeper.

For Bridget

1. Your Middle Name: Kathleen

2. Age: 46

3. Single or Taken: More twined than kudzu.

4. Favorite Movie: Moonstruck.

5. Favorite Song or Album: This minute? I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Deathcab For Cutie

6. Favorite Band/Artist: George Winston

7. Dirty or Clean: Used to be Squeaky, now Not Quite Smelly

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: Abstract dragon's wings in glorious color above the butt, 19th century graphic arts black lizard on right hipbone.

9. Do we know each other outside of LJ/Blogger?
Since I appropriated Dave.

10. What's your philosophy on life?
It's for the perseverant.

11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
What bottle? I'm too busy to look for a bottle. Why didn't anyone pass me a bottle?

12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
Yes.

13. What is your favorite memory of us?
Picking you up at the airport loaded with California wine for our wedding (Dave's and mine, not, obviously, yours and mine).

14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
Computer/Video games. I don't feel guilty about much else.

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: I was a ski instructor when I was 18.

16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they : 1) The weight I want with no effort. 2) To live anywhere I want, anytime I want, in the style I want. 3) Nicholas Cage as my love slave.

17. Can we get together and make a cake?
I'll watch.

18. Which country is your spiritual home?
Montana. Trust me, it's a country. Big Sky Country.

19. What is your big weakness?
Roederer Cristal champagne.

20. Do you think I'm a good person?
Yes.

21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
Languages. Any languages.

22. Describe your accent: Montana, baby, pure Montana.

23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
Nope.

24. What do you wear to sleep?
Wear? Why would I wear anything?

25. Trousers or skirts?
Capris.

26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
Alcohol, oh yeah.

27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
Whatever you wanted.

28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
Oh why not.

And there you are! Now who else is out there? Ren? Jody? Sue? Lurkers?

Happy Father's Day! Happy Day After Wedding!

The title and the post have nothing in common. One is happy and full of good wishes, the other is grim and bleak, driven by the fact that we sit in the airport in Austin with a five year-old who is completely exhausted by three long days and late nights of wedding festivities. Additionally we wait to board a flight which was delayed by an hour and a half and which looks to be now full due to the cancellation of another flight. Oh joy. We have the aisle and window on one side and the two seats on the other. Now it looks like there is a good chance the middle seat will be taken. Oh joy.


Jessie was extraordinary for the wedding. And looking at the few pictures I took, it's impossible to remain grumpy about the travel. Yes, she's exhausted beyond her capacity to be reasonable (as am I), but we had a simply lovely time. We stayed at the House on the Hill from Thursday till today and it was also the site of the wedding. Dave was the Best Man and J was the Flower Girl. Vanessa was an exquisitely lovely bride and Bryon beamed with happiness throughout the weekend.


And now we actually get to board so I am going to end with some photos of Bryon, Dave, Jessie and Vanessa. The story of how Dave and I were moving around the equipment of the Midgetmen buck-naked... really... at 5:30 am outdoors in the midst of a hellacious thunderstorm will have to wait for another post... along with the rest of the cruise pics. (photo key: Bryon left, Dave right; Bryon; Jessie; Vanessa and her Dad (Anthony))

Jessie Superstar!

Since we have the superstar board back home, I thought I would take this opportunity to post a pic of it. The resolution just may not be good enough here, in which case I could be a nutball and recreate the whole thing on Flickr... or I could just take a nap!

The Train is Pulling Out Of the Station

Jessie's agency is sending her "sheet" off to the printers. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the additions to our schedule that this activity of hers might bring, but we'll find out!

Tagged for a Meme!

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. You need to tag 7 others and list their names on your blog. Remember to leave a comment for them letting them know they have been tagged and to read your blog.

1. I do not believe Brussels sprouts are proof of the anti-Christ (as my husband does).

2. I grew up saying "Gezundheit" whenever anyone sneezed even though (as far as I know) no one in my family is German.

3. The maid of honor at my wedding was a man.

4. I put The Body Shop shea butter products on my hands every night before bed.

5. My husband says (when asked what weird habits I have) "That thing where you juggle chipmunks, and you're not all that good at it." (I am wondering who else he is married to) "And your fondness for early Patrick Swayze movies... those are the worst of them, really."

6. I am going to a baseball game Friday for my 46th birthday to watch the Braves (who supposedly can't beat anyone) trounce the Cubs (who--according to my mother-in-law--have been sucking stoats this season [I'm paraphrasing]). There'll be beer and fireworks.

7. I love to blog. I mean it. I REALLY love to blog.

I am tagging 7 people to meme, but I only expect a couple of them to respond (surprise me!). .. Bridget, Bill, Sue, Barbara, Christian, Lize and Lili.

Life, It's STILL What's Happening!

Thanks for the link Bridget! Always good to get a random read on life from an internet survey.

Your Life is 21% Off Track

In general, your life is going very well. You're quite happy with where you are and what you're doing. And even if you get a bit off course, you're usually able to get back on track easily.

Are You Living The Wrong Life?

The Cruise Part 1

Coffee in the ... hey wait a minute, this isn't Glass Incarnate, it's the weekend! Wouldn't you know, but as soon as I have the button for Keith's gift at the top of the blog--needing to be there and so keeping me from posting about anything else--all I wanted to do was post about the cruise!

Of course I still haven't scanned the photos that the cruise-line people took of us--pictures that I promised to mail to everyone else in our group and at our dinner table (ah well, one thing at a time) but I do have the few I took at Chacchoben--all but one saved for the next post. I also have a couple of shots of one of the cool towel animals our room steward did for us every couple of nights.

So what is it (besides the towel animals) about a cruise that makes is such a wonderful experience? If you're like us and don't get off the ship at the ports of call, what makes it different than just staying in a hotel somewhere for a week? It comes down to three things: obligation, socialization, and fending.

Obligation: Every vacation I have ever taken to a place other than home or visiting friends has entailed at some point having to go out and do something. Maybe it's a walking tour of the Ruta Moderna in Barcelona, or maybe it's a morning scuba diving, or maybe it's going to a vineyard to sample 1000 wines. On a cruise, there is nothing to do other than find a nice nook to read, walk the upper deck, eat and drink. And with the current pace of life for us, that's what vacation should be all about.

Socialization: Every vacation home (mine or Dave's) or to a friend's house means living on top of other beings and having to interact with them. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends, but negotiating someone else's space and continued participation in the expected social rituals (like conversation) can be more than I am up for. A cruise ship is so big that even if you do go with other people, you're off in your own space unless you explicitly seek each other out. No one thinks anything if they don't see you for a whole day. As much blissful anonymity as you could want.

Fending: If you stay in a hotel, motel, cabin or condo, you have to actively think about and plan eating. You may even have to fix your own food. Hotels have one dining room (very occasionally more), while cruise ships have several dining and drinking options and they are available whenever you want them. Better still the food is already included so you can eat as often or as little as you would like (I managed to lose weight on the cruise). The closest hotel vacation I have found to the cruise experience is going to Vegas--and that is definitely NOT an all-inclusive trip!

So I love to cruise and would do so again in a heartbeat. The one I want most to do is from Galveston to San Diego through the Panama Canal. I could also spend a bunch of time in the Mediterranean. Sailboats are for Other people. I want my hot shower, gentle rocking motion, non-stop food and--most of all--blissful anonymity. Oh yes, and a little private balcony. Interior rooms also being for Other people. I LIKE hanging in my room and want to be able to tell when it's light or dark out (and even to be able fall over the balcony into the water if I want to--not that I would, but it does seem to be a popular cruise pastime recently).

And if you do feel like getting off the ship there are fascinating things to see--like the Mayan ruins at Chacchoben. More photos of them in the next cruise post. Could be another three months...

Keith Frey

Here's the link (the button below) to contribute to Keith Frey's going away gift. If you don't know who Keith is, or weren't looking to contribute, then you probably want the wicked-cute toddler pictures further down the blog.

Life, It's What's Happening

Delaying Posting on the Cruise... Again!

I got this from Jodi and it's the first meme I have really, really really wanted to do. And it is one more thing I can do to annoy Bill by not posting about the cruise. Heh.

The Movie Meme

1. Name a movie you have seen more than 10 times.
"The Princess Bride" and "Moonstruck"

2. Name a movie you've seen multiple times in the theater.
Wizards, the animated by Ralph Bakshi. 13 times in the theater and now I own it.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Nicole Kidman

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Tom Cruise

5. Name a movie than you can and do quote from.
The Princess Bride, "You were not hired for your brains you hippopotamic land mass!"
Shakespeare in Love (added from Glass Incarnate)

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
"My Fair Lady", "Oklahoma", "Carousel", "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers", the list goes on...

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.
All of the above plus "Moulin Rouge", "Grease", the list goes on...

8. Name a movie you would recommend everyone see.
There are many because I am opinionated, but I will go with "Love Actually"

9. Name a movie that you own.
Pick a letter... But a rare good choice: "The Iron Monkey"

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Can't think of a single person off-hand

11. Have you ever seen a movie at a drive-in? If so, what?
Most recently, "Premonition" and fell asleep during the second feature, "Ghost Rider"

12. Ever made out in a movie?
Oh yes

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't gotten around to it yet.
Well, Ghost Rider. I finally saw Prizzi's Honor. Still have "Meet Joe Black" and "The Last Mohican" on the shelf unwatched.

14. Ever walked out on a movie?
"American Gigolo"

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.
Please, they almost ALL make me cry. "Dances With Wolves" comes to mind first. Then "E.T."

16. What was the last movie you saw in the theater.
"The Last Mimzy"

17. What is your favorite/preferred genre of movie.
action/adventure, romantic comedy

18. What is the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Drive-in. Either "Taste the Blood of Dracula", or "Scream and Scream Again". Or was it "The Asylum" or "Night of the Living Dead"? Yeah, that was it. NOTLD

19. What movie do you wish you'd never seen?
I have blocked them all and repurposed those brain cells.

20. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
"Howl's Moving Castle" and other Miyazaki's. They are somehow... alien.

21. What is the scariest movie you have seen?
"Halloween"

22. What is the funniest movie you have seen?
"Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle"

Legs OR What We Watched During Dinner...

Watching "Bones" tonight over dinner. There's a scene where the forensic anthropologist examines a severed leg from an accident. Jessie looks at Dave and says, "Daddy, was that the leg from the bachelor party?" What happens in Vegas obviously doesn't STAY in Vegas...

Dave replied that all he ever said was that he had to find and return a leg. He didn't say anything about how the leg was lost, the circumstances under which losing a leg made perfect sense, or who (indeed) stole the leg. However he does assert that if HE had stolen the leg, it would have come back with rhinestones and ostrich feathers on it. No use being in Vegas if you can't pimp your gimp.

iLike!

Thanks to Ren, THE GENIUS, I now have an iLike account and can easily link the song of the morning to my Glass Incarnate postings. It also shows everything I have been listening to recently and since it's the melancholy playlist from Ren, my taste looks a lot more hi-brow than it normally does. At last a technology that makes music as easy to show and share as pictures are. When was the last time you had to download a "player" to view a picture someone sent you? Never! I am tired of being prompted to download yet another widget to share music snippets. It's not like I'm trying to pirate anything--I just want to share a small piece and pique the interest. I will be pursuing iLike more... let's try an add to the template...

Nesting

Will I ever post about the cruise? I should have done it right away. Now the memories fade into a warm fuzz of walking, sleeping, snuggling, good food, sunshine, trashy books and umbrella drinks. The best part was not getting off the ship (but once) while everyone else got off. Peace and quiet with a slight rocking motion. I will do the Chaccoben ruin photos at the least.

But today I show off springtime in the south. I waited so long that it is starting to fade to summer (can you imagine? in March!). First up, the weeping cherry in the backyard next to the pauciflora (the yellow bush) followed by the shooting bamboo. I waxed eloquent the other week about the beauty of the magnolias, cherries, redbuds, etc. The weekend's addition to the bouquet was the wisteria which has burst into bloom dripping from every old stand of pines and pecans. No photos of it as I STILL don't have one and didn't have a camera when we were on the road to the nursery on Saturday. You'll just have to take my word for it--it's stunning.

Ever since we moved to Atlanta there have been many things higher in the queue than potting annuals and setting up little family areas in the yard. The yard work--when it happened--was done in broad brush stroke: plant bamboo, lay turf, plant trees, put up the little house and paint it. It was a huge empty space that had to be lightly and evenly filled.

Now I'm at a point where I can focus on improving small areas. the "nesting" process one does to make a house or yard a home. One of those areas is the children's play area in the front. J had a friend over last week and they had hot dogs for dinner at the picnic table and played in the front yard. Last evening while I was finishing up putting the tropical plants around the pond, J rocked in her glider.

Last weekend I not only bought a bunch of flats of annuals, pots and potting soil, I also planted them all and set up the pots on the front steps. I had a lot of help from J who wore her rain boots to keep out the dirt and a Braves cap to keep off the sun. A new southern Belle. She lined up the pots to fill with soil and she watered everything as it got planted. Now it's her job to water all the pots daily. She gets to use the hose and doesn't have to rely on a small watering can--though that would keep her occupied for an hour or so everyday after school...

Previously on the steps was Halloween pumpkin that never got carved and sat all winter till it rotted away. Dave finally scraped it up and threw it out, but there were a few seeds left. Jessie put them in one of the pots of annuals (white petunias) and now we anticipate pumpkin vines spreading across the front yard.

Yesterday I took the day off and moved the little round pond from the back deck to the screened in front porch. There is a still a fountain on the back deck to provide water for the dogs and the squirrels, but I am tired of having to clean the leaves out of the little pond and unclog the filter. The goldfish in the pond are also likely to be happier now that there are no predators who will try to fish for them at night. A few ferns, palms and other tropicals from Home Depot added the finishing touches. Someday we might get real outdoor furniture, but for now the rocker we don't have room for in the house fits just fine.

I close with the view down our street this morning. You can see the understory of redbuds, cherries, dogwoods and other flowering trees peeking through the pecans and pines. This weekend (maybe even this week) I begin the design and planning process for the real pond that will go in the backyard. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that this time putting in a pond doesn't mean we will move in the next year. I want to stay to enjoy this yard for awhile.

That Was Then, This Is Now

I just read Ren's post on her morning routine and all I can say is Holy Sh*t! How does she get all that done in an hour?!? Eye shadow AND eyeliner? Wow. If it's a good day, I brush the teeth and hair. If not, I just pull the hair up in an elastic and go. The shirt will have stains on it: Dave does the laundry and he and the Spray 'N Wash don't see eye to eye. I would rather have stains than do the laundry.

I have not always been like this. I remember the pre-work routine taking up to an hour 15 and containing make-up, curling irons, showers and moisturizer. Living in the dry north it used to take me 15 minutes every morning just to coat my body with moisturizer else I'd suffer the ravages of itchy dry skin all day.

My pre-work morning now is divided into two parts: Jessie and blogging. Hygiene is for other people (as is commuting, but I won't crow about that too much as it is a sad state of affairs that so many have to go so far every day before they even begin work).

In an hour--if I really rush--I get a five year-old out of bed by tickling her and carrying her into the bathroom while blowing raspberries on her belly (or dragging her kicking, screaming and thrashing). Then I cajole (or browbeat) her through her ablutions which now include cleaning the newly pierced ears and a careful brushing of the teeth with the gaping hole. Then there is hair brushing--hers has still never been touched by scissors wielded by a hand other than her own (and that was just that once three years ago) followed by dressing. I can't sugar-coat it: Dressing is a chore every Day as the panties must be Just Right (low on the hips), with the pants over them Just So (so the tops align evenly). The pants may neither be too tight nor too loose. On a day where I maintain equilibrium and she stays on task, we both get through with neither tears nor threats. The allotted time for all of these activities is 30 minutes. Then I assist with coat and shoes (assistance mostly consists of repeated cries of "Hurry up! Daddy's ready to go!"), shove a bagel into small hand, kiss everyone good-bye, and push them out the door. Alone at last. The coffee brews, and I blog the daily glass incarnate. If I am really good, I finish by nine and go back upstairs to tie back the hair and throw on some clothes. Shower? Make-up? Pah!

Good thing I work alone, huh?

Go Uma!

I have added checking up on Uma to my morning web routine. Anna Nicole Smith died, NASA is dealing with an astronaut love triangle scandal (it used to be just leaky seals), Iraq is an ongoing sink-hole mess, and Uma fights quietly on. I love the photo, and I love the eloquent post that accompanies it. I may keep reading Erik even after Uma is dancing in the streets again. What is it about edgy, arty California types (Yes, Ren and Jodi, I mean you too) that draws me into their blogs? I even like reading about Just Jenn's snack foods for heaven's sake. Then there's the heartland connection... No wonder I have trouble getting stuff done. Too much surfing other people's lives and too little living my own. But maybe that's just winter.

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Deathcab For Cutie just came on iTunes (thanks again, Ren). I need to go call someone just to say I love you...

More Uma

Apparently my last post was a bit... obscure.

I am not a Generation MySpace. I grew up producing papers on a typewriter with the Encyclopedia Britannica as the fact-providing resource. And I am not old. My upbringing predisposes me to approach the Internet with an eternally renewing awe, i.e., I don't take it for granted. Every few months I will have an almost-epiphany about the real nature and scope of it, the essential humanity of it. I had one of those yesterday.

Every morning I start my day with CNN.com (not surprising since my husband is a techie geek there... why else would we live in Atlanta?). I read about the last minutes of life for dozens of people in Iraq the day before, the daily agonies inflicted upon children all over the world, the pain, and death and worse that one human perpetrates on another in the unending flow of "life". It is mentally and emotionally numbing. How can we cope with the constant stream of bad? How can we keep seeing the beauty and joy in life? Dave shakes his head and says, "Your life would be better if you didn't read that." But someone else had to live and die it, it seems the least I can do to honor that is to read about it.

So yesterday someone I do not know (the essence of the net) read Stranded in the South and posted on USB microscope envy. Being a curious mammal I tracked back to see who this person is. I read her blog Inconstant Directive. I love reading about other people's lives and prefer it if they are not celebrities or other famous people alive or dead whose (auto)biographies are bound and sold. I like to discover the extraordinary in other ordinary people. Her blog is new and only has links to two other blogs on it; one to Jodi's Snarky Dork (I already read that one) and one to someone named Erik who writes My Year of New Things. I jumped over to Erik and read about his friend Uma who had a brain aneurysm recently. For a whole set of complicated triggers and responses in my head that I cannot even begin to lay out here, I was compelled to go into our backyard last night and write Uma's name on the green man we have on our deck (backed by Jessie's Prince Charming frog pond spitter that I haven't got a pond for yet, two little squirrel drinking cups with frog and lizard, and an Isobel Bloom ceramic fish).

I stood there freezing my feet with my hand on the green man and sent good thoughts winging to Uma. Will it do any good for her? Who knows. But it did good for me. In the daily tide of faceless death and woe on the Internet I felt a connection with the real humanness, humanity of Erik's post on vandalizing the world for Uma day... and I can't explain it any better than that. Like I said, I have an almost-epiphany. It's like calculus that way.

Uma

"The Internet is a mysterious and powerful device whose mystery is only exceeded by its power."

Today someone new came here via Snarky Dork, and the visitor's Inconstant Directive led me to Erik's Year of New Things, and Uma.

There are countless people in the world to whom bad things are happening every second of every minute of every day. C'est la vie, che sera sera, that's life. That may be life, but this is human. Go Uma.

Tooth Model Books

What a week! I am finally catching up. Deep breath. The photographer from my publisher arrived Tuesday afternoon to begin three full, grueling days of shooting all the how-to and materials/tools photography for the book, which will be chronicled in Glass Incarnate tomorrow. Friday morning at 9:30 I got a call from Jessie's school. She was fine, but there had been a little accident...

It seems that the four and five year-olds had decided to mosh in their class. Jessie was on the top of the pile and when the boy on the bottom heaved up she flew out and right into a wooden chair... mouth first. The good news is that she didn't cut her lip. The bad news is that the force of the hit knocked her front tooth out. It snapped clean off. Her teeth were not even slightly loose so this isn't just a little early or right on time, it was a bloody, gory break.

I flew out of the house leaving the photographer, his assistant and my assistant with promises of "I'll be right back". Well I was, but then I had to leave again to take her to the dentist to make sure there wasn't any damage to the surrounding teeth that needed to be fixed immediately. And I didn't call her dentist--who is a very nice man but whose receptionist is a real bi... meanie. I called my dentist. The receptionist put me through to my dentist's partner (I figured my dentist was in the middle of a crown or something) and he said to come right in and he would look at it. Turns out the office was closed. The receptionist was there with her maltese puppy wearing her jeans and doing a little paperwork. The dentist was in a polo shirt and casual pants, just in to grab a few things before heading out of town. He told Jessie to call him Dr. Jay, and he charmed her into the chair. He looked over the carnage and declared her fine, but recommended an X-ray from her dentist this week. Then he found her a little envelope to put her tooth in and ushered us to the door after refusing any payment. The receptionist let Jessie pet the puppy.

We arrived home to find the photography team struggling manfully on without me, and I settled J down to watch a movie while we worked. Dave came home in the afternoon and took over the J, who napped for two hours and awoke refreshed for Fun Friday at the Y. Dave and I took our shattered selves to the Istanbul Cafe for Turkish food and belly dancing.

We got through Saturday in an exhausted daze. J had her interview with Atlanta's Young Faces Modeling Agency at 1:00 and I think it went well in spite of the missing tooth. They probably won't be able to use her for print modeling, but she's not really interested in that anyway. She wants to be an actress, and this agency represents a lot of the child "talent" booked for roles in the movies filmed in Atlanta. For the commercial division (the film side of the house) they care more about character than looks, and a missing tooth is not a liability (which it is on the "pretty" side of the house). This philosophy fits in with our household ethos better than the Jon Benet alternative so we are both a bit relieved.

Now there's today. We thought we might have a calm day to relax but at midnight J came down with a screaming ear infection and she was the one screaming. We all slept in short stretches the rest of the night between bouts of Tylenol-laced crying pain. Today, with a fever of 100.8, J reposes on the couch sleeping and watching movies (Chicken Run right now). Dave and I fill the new bookcases from the stacks of books lying all over the house. Delicious Library is turning out to be a disappointment for books (It was great for the dvd's and really good for the cd's too). But we will get everything sorted by category, shelved, and alphabetized today, and eventually we will have an on-line database.

And that is our weekend. Weight Watchers goes on throughout, and we prepare for the arrival of Dave's parents on Thursday for next weekend.

Bugs

A couple of weeks ago Jessie had another outbreak of "bugs" in her class at school. I reacted by immediately braiding her hair tightly in a cornet and not taking it down for five days. I took it down long enough to wash it, and promptly put it back up again for another five days--while it was still wet. I was in denial.

Tonight while I was bathing J and washing her hair I happened up on... something. I cleaned a bunch of hair out of the comb I used to comb the conditioner through, and there was something... small and black. I had Jessie get out of the bath (I was in it too) and get my reading glasses. I looked closer. It looked like a mature louse--don't ask how I know. J looked at it. She saw an antenna. Dave came in the bathroom and joined in the examination. He was of the minority opinion that it was a bit of schmutz. I wanted him to go to Publix for one of the little metal combs and a nasty chemical shampoo for the J. We were at an impasse. Then Dave reminded me of why I married him.

He took the object in question downstairs and examined it under the USB microscope I got him and the J for Christmas. Happily, he was right (shown at 60 X actual size). Science. It works. And he didn't have to shave his head.

Dieting

The Weight Watchers goes on. I had a long day today (the first day of the how-to photography for the book in the studio) and I just finished doing the prep in the studio for tomorrow's photo shoot. It's 11:00 pm. I am exhausted beyond belief, but I login to the Weight Watchers site to track my "points" for the food I have eaten today.

Me: "Wow. Even after two glasses of wine with dinner I still have nine points left today!"
Dave: "Ooh, you should eat a stick of butter!"

Bad Mommy

7:45 a.m. Jessie is snuggled down in a burrow of blankets with just her eyes and nose peeking above the sheet. I approach the bed:

J: Don't even.
Me: Don't even what?
J: Don't even think about it.
Me: Think about what?
J: Pulling all the covers off me.

I, of course, do, and there is much giggling and shrieking as I carry her into the bathroom to start getting ready for school.

Music and the Five Year-Old

J: Mommy, was Elvis Costello disgusting?
Me: Why do you ask?
J: Because he said so in his song.

Mind you this is in the car, out of the blue, with no Elvis Costello music anywhere around. My daughter, the empress of the non sequitur.

Scam Artists In My Internet!

The shame! Yesterday morning I put our sofa, chair-and-a-half, ottoman and two sets of slipcovers for it for sale on craigslist. Within an hour I got an email from harry_flex07@yahoo.com:

"Hello,how are you doing today?i will like to know if the item is avialable for sale.
thanks"

And it is right below the big header that craigslist puts on all email sent through their system:

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

Well, there are a lot of scam flags in the email (generic message, no mention of name of actual item, bad spelling and grammar--and what's up with that? Why do most of the scam/spam emails you get have horrible spelling and grammar? Is it because they are written by non-native speakers of English or just by criminal anti-masterminds?), but I reply anyway:

"Hi Harry,

Yes, the items are all still for sale--we just listed them today.

Brenda"

Now I shouldn't have put my name in the message, but there might have been a chance the message was legitimate (and pigs will fly out my...).

So I get a reply this morning:

"Hello i really appreciate your response to my earlier mail.like i said i will like to buy this item am okay with the price of $1580,i will add $50 for you to withdraw the advert from craigslist. I will also like you to know that i will be paying via cashiers check or money orders .I will need you to provide me with the following information to facilitate the mailing of the check or money orders.
1.Your full name
2.Your mailing address be it residential or postal address
3.Your phone number.
I will like you to know that you will not be responsible for
shipping i will have my shippers come over as soon as you have cashed the cashiers check or money orders.
Have a nice day.
Harry"

I snort into my coffee as I read his email. Yeah, right. He will pay me for the privilege of owning my used sofa. So I write back:

"Hi Harry,

Thanks for the reply. Sadly, the terms are unacceptable (see the craigslist advisory). Geez, Harry, do you think I'm a moron? Have a nice day!"

Now I wait for the American Kidney Fund to come and get all the VHS tapes, old PC software (including over 20 classic games like Quake, Neverwinter Nights, Thief and Max Payne), J's too-small clothes and shoes (I can't say "old" because I still have a lot of clothes from my graduate school days in the late 80's...), a 100 cd changer, a joystick, the ruthlessly-culled tupperware, books, blocks, Duplo... you get the picture.

Still Cleaning the Office...

Mom & Me outside my condo on the south side of Chicago circa 1994. When I get tired of pulling my hair out of the way I look at this picture and think "It worked..."

The Ruthless Divesting Continues...

I just finished cleaning out the tupperware cabinet. Yesterday I emptied bookshelves of old windows pc video games and windows pc software. Last week the vhs tapes were decimated. It is the new year and I am sweeping it clean with a vengeance. Really, it has nothing to do with avoiding balancing the check books and credit cards and entering all the expenses for my business into Quickbooks. Really.

It is another rainy winter day in Atlanta. Yesterday it was sunny and mid-hi 60's. J rode her bike, I left all the doors open for the fresh breezes to play in the house. Today J is cuddled up on the couch watching "Moulin Rouge" and I have no further excuses. I gird my loins (well, they are already girded), I refresh my coffee, I... ooh, do we have the Moulin Rouge soundtrack on cd? Maybe I should find it and rip it to iTunes so I can listen to it while I balance registers. If we don't have it, I bet I can find it on iTunes... "GET THEE TO THY DESK, WOMAN", I hear my husband bellow. More anon.

'Twas the Day After Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
The papers were strewn like nests for a mouse.
The stockings were tossed in a pile by the chair,
Clear evidence that St. Nick had been there.

The child was nestled in front of t.v.
With visions of Miyazaki on it to see.
With Dave at his office, I was at my desk
Having just settled down to a bookkeeping mess.

When what to my wandering mind did occur
But an idea so brilliant I had to concur.
Away to the bookcase which holds dvds
I pulled all the "tapes" out, some new space to see.

The dust in the holes of the now empty space
Encouraged me on, I proceeded apace.
A box on the floor was now home for them all,
I cleaned up the shelves and was having a ball!

With nary a glance I sealed up the box,
But then had to pause to consider the loss.
Good movies were there and it wasn't their fault
That VHS in our house had come to a halt.

"Now let's not be hasty", I said to myself.
What we need might just be a post-Christmas elf.
More rapid than eagles my fingers they flew,
I bought Amazon dvds, both the old and the new.

As good intentions before procrastination fly,
My bookkeeping tasks had all been let lie.
Blogger and eBay, Bidslammer and IM,
They got more than their share of my attention.

And the afternoon waned, me always online.
The Disney and Bond were the hardest to find.
$22 for "Lion King 2",
And Bond in boxed sets--I must try something new.

He lights up the screen, whether Sean, Roger or Tim,
And I simply must have my collection of him.
To eBay I travel, my desire fulfilled.
With bidslammer I tried for a "View to a Kill".

His manner austere, his chin with a cleft,
With weapons or women he's always so deft.
But let's not forget Jessie's Disney array,
I must find Toy Story by the end of the day.

The spouse, in the meantime was on his way home,
His only desire a bath and a tome.
The day had been arduous, with bugs most obscure,
And a relaxing evening was all he'd endure,

He opened the door, to the dogs gave a whistle,
Hugged his daughter then headed upstairs like a missile.
"How's your day?", he inquired and I had to blush,
My plans for the day had all turned to mush.

He said nothing more but went off to his bath,
And left me with my schedule, doing the math.
Maybe tomorrow I'll get some work done.
I'll focus on business and not on having fun.

He smiled as he went and I felt even worse,
How much time had I spent writing up all this verse?
Tomorrow, I vowed, I will work like a dog,
I'll reconcile and I'll clean and I'll not even blog!

Peace on Earth

Christmas is a time I remind myself to love and honor... well, at least try to like and appreciate... or at least not to disdain all mankind. It has been tougher than usual this season. Last night I participated in a screaming match with another woman driver whom I honked (gently) for not going on a green arrow and then honked continuously when she continued to sit deliberately through the rest of the green arrow. I stopped honking for the red light that followed, but when she still didn't go on the following green, I laid on the horn all the way through it. I was just getting ready to pull around her (I had been previously blocked) and she moved--around the corner to the red light we both had to sit through on the other side of the right turn we were making because she had intentionally sat through TWO greens to piss me off. I rolled down my window to yell at her as she stormed out of her car and up to my open window, finger waggling in my face. It was an ugly, ugly moment. We were both lucky the other one didn't have a gun. And she was lucky the deerhounds aren't aggressive as opening the back door of the van and letting them treat her like a Scottish red deer was (momentarily) tempting. Had her male companion in the passenger seat joined the fray I probably would have invoked the dogs (Baxter may be small, but he's fierce).

All those people who think the world would be a more peaceful place if run by women should have been there to re-evaluate their assumptions. I don't know what brought her to that moment. She had obviously been trying to eat and drive (hence the sandwich in the hand that was not shaking a finger in my face) and had missed seeing the light change. My first honk was just enough to put her over the edge. I had a car full of dogs (returning from the groomer) and had had enough of rude drivers in rush hour and she was my last straw. I try not to drive during the rush because there are just enough drivers who are either rude, self-centered ba... boogers or completely oblivious morons to make it a miserable experience for anyone trying to get from place A to place B quickly, competently, and POLITELY.

So back to Christmas. In the calmer light of day I wish I knew who she was so I could apologize to her for calling her a stupid bi... cow. Today I resolve to be kinder to everyone, not just to those whom I think deserve it. And it will be an easier resolution to keep as I am not going to drive anywhere! May your days be merry and bright, and may all the people in front of you go on green lights.

The Omniscience of Santa

J: Momma, can we write a letter to Santa?
B: Sure, honey.
J: But since Santa can hear everything, we don't need to call him or write him. We just talk and he'll hear us. So we don't have to write a letter.

Five Year-Olds and MRI's

We've clearly all been watching too much House:

J: My leg hurts.
D: Guess we're going to have to amputate!
J: What's amputate?
B: Cut it off.
J: No, just do a MRI.

Diving... I Live!

So the story of the diving... Dave and I went diving Monday afternoon for the first time in a year. Last year we got one dive (a shore dive with the same dive operation) in during our vacation before Hurricane Wilma sauntered by and ruined the weather (and diving) for everyone. This year we had high hopes for a lot of good diving, but that was before I got sick. Monday was the big day.

First dive, the divemaster said before we got off the boat "Don't go below 130 feet, don't stay down more than an hour, and keep at least five minutes on your time to decompression." I guess he figured that since we all had dive computers (provided as part of our dive) we couldn't kill ourselves. The dive was billed as a cave dive, but what it really was was a dive through a series of twisty coral overhangs and swim throughs. If I wanted to do agility, I would become an Australian Shepard and develop a taste for kibble. We emerged from the tunnels (those of us who did them--Dave was not one, he swam above) and soon after had to turn around as one of the divers was at the halfway point for air. The diver was Dave and the divemaster made me ascend with him after only 20 minutes of diving as we were "buddies". I thought we were all a group of divers and I was surprised to be forced out of the water with 1200 psi of air out of 3000 left in my tank. I understood the necessity of just swimming around the anchor point and not heading off, but I saw no need to get out of the water completely with two divemasters in the water with us.

The story only got worse as the next dive I couldn't get below six feet. I was too congested and my right ear wouldn't pop (the Sudafed I took before diving had worn off). So Dave buddied up with the divemaster and he got a good long dive in (as did the other 13 divers) while I tanned grumpily on the boat.

I know they say you have to get right back on the horse, but I was depth-shy. Tuesday we talked about shore diving but I weenied out. I wanted to give my cold and my ear one more day. We were scheduled for another boat dive Wednesday, but I still didn't think I was well enough and canceled Tuesday afternoon. I tried to cancel the boat dive we had scheduled for this morning, but I called too late and they had already sent the van into town for the night to pick us up in the morning. So I was guilted into trying a dive.

I barely slept at all last night. Nyquil doesn't have a decongestant so I took Dayquil instead. My heart raced from 2 am till 4 am and I had nightmares about the dive. Note to self: no Dayquil at night. We finally got up at 6 (Dave wasn't sleeping too well either) and I was still severely congested. I was resigned to dying on the dive, or at least blowing an eardrum. Not being able to regulate the pressure by popping your ears can keep you from diving. But what about inability to regulate pressure when you are already down and need to come up? We learned about it in diver certification. It's not pretty.

So we get on the boat and out to the first dive site. I suit up and get in first. I get down to 15 feet fine and have hope. I hang out there and wait for everyone else to get in the water and we head down towards 100 feet. However the ear balked and could not be coaxed any lower than 70 feet so there I stayed. The rest of the group was spread out below me, but I had the last laugh: the deeper you go, the more air you use. So by staying at 70 feet I was bothte first one in the water and the last one out. I actually ran out of time before I ran out of air and got in an hour dive.

The second dive was shallower and at first I couldn't get past six feet down before the ear pain was unbearable. I ended up going back to the surface to get out, but the boat captain convinced me to try one more time and that time I made it down! And I got another 60 minute dive in. Too bad there wasn't much to see. But I made it up and out alive, and that's what counts. Tomorrow: Captain Marvin and Stingray City!

Live from Treasure Island!

We are on Grand Cayman having our first and only family vacation of 2006. We in this case is made up of Me, Dave, Jessie, my mother and father newly back from Ecuadora dn the Galapagos Islands. Dave is rather newly back from the bachelor party madness in Las Vegas, and he arived home sick as a dog. At the end of a three-day incubation period I, too, had succumbed. Jessie is in school so she will just go from cold to flu to sniffles and back until she hits puberty and I can't tell if she actually has this cold/flu or not.

The flights passed for me in a Dayquil and codeine haze and we spent the first two days here sleeping, relaxing, and lazing with a good dose of napping thrown in. Yesterday the "vacation" began with a visit to the turtle farm followed by a trip to Hell. The stores at Hell were all closed (it was Sunday) so we took a few touristy pictures, admired the two roosters and the lone hen who ran over to greet us (looking for food?), and then mosied back to our condo. Our accommodations are a three-bedroom beachfront condo (third floor). Last year we were on the first floor as hurricane Wilma passed by on her way to Mexico and the waves came up into our room. We are trying to avoid a repeat--it gets dark with plywood over all the patio doors.

Yesterday afternoon we tried a bit of snorkeling but there is some freakish, fine, sea moss in the ater right now that obscured all visibility and covered every inch of our bodies as we emerged from the water. After much swearing and hosing down we managed to remove the moss from our private areas and our suits. Blech. Diving. Today (and every day till next Friday) is slated for diving. Friday we are snorkeling as a family--it will be J's first ocean snorkel trip--and feeding the rays at stingray city. More pics from the trip can be found on Flickr. Tomorrow: the saga of the diving!

Life, Actually

The day before yesterday it was 74 degrees and sunny. Yesterday it was grey, blustery rain. Today it is sunny but cold. Fall sides gently into the beginnings of winter. There was just enough wind today to strip many of the leaves off our maple in the front yard. It was one of the last trees to turn and has only been a glorious red, apricot, gold for the past week. The dogwoods and crepe myrtles have long since assumed the stark elegance of grey, winter branchings. Their neighbors, the somber pecans and water oaks, slowly, silently rain leaves.

Today I cleaned a little, read a lot, rested, relaxed and cuddled with my daughter. We had a sleepover last night and today was a day to laze. Right now she is snoring gently in my bed and has been for almost two hours. I am letting her sleep as long as she wants as we are going to pick Dave up at the airport at midnight when he returns from the bachelor party debauchery in Las Vegas.

J had a sleepover last night for her birthday party. The invitees were her best friend Grace, Grace's Mom (and my friend) Stacy and Grace's baby sister Alice. The Moms drank champagne and talked till midnight, and the girls played and then drowsed around us. It has been a birthday of long duration for the J. Pretty cool. She received well wishes and many cool gifts from friends around the country. There were Barbies and boots, books and bangles. But two gifts really stuck out for me: the bag J is holding in the photo at right (described at left) and four music cd's created especially for her by our friends "Aunt" Vanessa and "Uncle" Bryon It was Bryon's bachelor party in Vegas for Dave for the past five days. You might think five days is pretty long for a bachelor party but Dave is the Best Man and had loads of responsibilities (and vodka tonics).

I used to love to make special gifts for people myself but time and tide have reduced me to Amazon.com. Thoughtful gifts, but never touched by my own hands. When J opened the present from Bryon and Vanessa and there were the hand-knit bag with the personally made tag and cd's with personal labels and specially created music lists, I got choked up by the care and attention that had gone into the gifts. I had thrown money at the birthday and fulfilled my gift obligations with Barbies and a Barbie carriage, a dvd and a couple of books. I was amazed and humbled at the effort that good friends with equally busy lives had gone to to give Jessie something special to mark turning five.

I am looking forward to a slower pace next year. Gardening, time with my family, meditation, yoga, long walks with the dogs. I have been very successful professionally this year. I could follow that success up by pushing my limits and working harder. But to what end? Where do I wish to go professionally? I need to ponder that question as this year comes to a close. I do know that I don't want a big business with employees and seven day-a-week obligations. Much of this year passed in an exhausted blur from which I am just now waking. Life is too short.

I close this post with the playlists from J's new cd's. Music to shape a young mind.