Tuesday, March 13, 2007

That Was Then, This Is Now

I just read Ren's post on her morning routine and all I can say is Holy Sh*t! How does she get all that done in an hour?!? Eye shadow AND eyeliner? Wow. If it's a good day, I brush the teeth and hair. If not, I just pull the hair up in an elastic and go. The shirt will have stains on it: Dave does the laundry and he and the Spray 'N Wash don't see eye to eye. I would rather have stains than do the laundry.

I have not always been like this. I remember the pre-work routine taking up to an hour 15 and containing make-up, curling irons, showers and moisturizer. Living in the dry north it used to take me 15 minutes every morning just to coat my body with moisturizer else I'd suffer the ravages of itchy dry skin all day.

My pre-work morning now is divided into two parts: Jessie and blogging. Hygiene is for other people (as is commuting, but I won't crow about that too much as it is a sad state of affairs that so many have to go so far every day before they even begin work).

In an hour--if I really rush--I get a five year-old out of bed by tickling her and carrying her into the bathroom while blowing raspberries on her belly (or dragging her kicking, screaming and thrashing). Then I cajole (or browbeat) her through her ablutions which now include cleaning the newly pierced ears and a careful brushing of the teeth with the gaping hole. Then there is hair brushing--hers has still never been touched by scissors wielded by a hand other than her own (and that was just that once three years ago) followed by dressing. I can't sugar-coat it: Dressing is a chore every Day as the panties must be Just Right (low on the hips), with the pants over them Just So (so the tops align evenly). The pants may neither be too tight nor too loose. On a day where I maintain equilibrium and she stays on task, we both get through with neither tears nor threats. The allotted time for all of these activities is 30 minutes. Then I assist with coat and shoes (assistance mostly consists of repeated cries of "Hurry up! Daddy's ready to go!"), shove a bagel into small hand, kiss everyone good-bye, and push them out the door. Alone at last. The coffee brews, and I blog the daily glass incarnate. If I am really good, I finish by nine and go back upstairs to tie back the hair and throw on some clothes. Shower? Make-up? Pah!

Good thing I work alone, huh?


Bill Paley said...

No wonder David wears so many Hawaiian shirts. It becomes so clear to me...

In re: not showering. Ew.

Brenda Griffith said...

Hey! I shower! I am just a night-time showerer now preferring to clean before getting into bed. *disdainful sniff*

And Dave wears so many Hawaiian shirts because his wife so lovingly made them for him. And why don't they stain like cotton t-shirts do? It's a mystery (or it really is the pattern).

Jodi said...

Yeah, I'm not sure AT ALL how Ren squeezes all that in. I can do a certain amount in an hour, but things like making tea and breakfast are sacrificed.

I've recently started showering and washing my hair before I go to sleep and then I just have to straigthen it in the morning. It makes SUCH a big difference and actually leaves me with some time to put on a little makeup.

Bill Paley said...

I figured as much. Since you didn't reek on the cruise.



ren said...

seven minutes in the shower. that's what it takes. then it's like another 5 to dry and moisturize, 7 more to dry hair, 5 more for makeup...then a lot of running around screaming...I'M LATE! I'M LATE!