I made a break for it tonight. The female human opened the back door onto the deck to let out the deerhound for her nightly facility visit. It had been raining and the deerhound--the royal dog of Scotland--was reluctant to go out and get her feet wet. Wuss. The female human scolded her till she finally went down the stairs to the backyard, then the human left the door open for her to come back in while she went to take the garbage out the front door. I saw the moment, I made it mine.
The female human noticed I was gone immediately when she came back in the front door and went to close the back door behind the deerhound. The last she had seen me I was snoozing on the back of the couch, then I was gone. I heard her standing in her bare feet on the wet deck calling for me in the dark. She sounded pretty frantic but trying to hide it and be perky and upbeat, "Ernie! Here kitty, kitty, kitty! I have some tuna for you!" When I ignored her (there were things to smell in the backyard and I knew she couldn't see me), she went back inside. She came out a few minutes later with a box of something crunchy sounding that she rattled saying "Ernie, dinner time!" Hah. Like I was going to be fooled by that box of the kid's goldfish crackers.
Finally the door to the garage under the deck opened the light from inside streamed out, and she came out calling for me. Even though it was drizzling a bit and I'm not so fond of the rain (cat and all), I made her wait. I let her walk all the way to the end of the driveway right before she would've had to walk out onto the grass of the backyard and I watched as she hesitated walking out there in her bare feet. Then I slipped in behind her and sauntered into the open garage. When she turned around and saw me, "Ernie! (sigh of relief) I'm so glad you're back. Come on in now for some tuna.", I nonchalantly sat down, washed one paw and waited for her to coax me back in.
Sure enough, she opened a can of Spam for me (though I had to share it with the dogs). She fretted about the sodium, but she couldn't find the tuna and she wanted to reward me for coming back in (sucker, I have her trained now) so she gave me (and those dogs--you should've seen that spaniel slather) the Spam (and lots of fresh water). I was dignified. Yeah, I trotted after her a bit quickly as she headed to my food dish, but can you blame me? I'll say it again: Dry Diet Senior Cat Food. Blech.
Tomorrow I heard that Dee is coming with more tribute--this time in the form of bacon treats. It's about time!