The big female human that got me out of that crate last night went out for awhile today and left her laptop behind. I'm not sure how much time I have before she comes back, but I have to get a message out to let everyone know what's going on. There are *dogs* here! I hate dogs. There also appear to be tasty grey squirrels, but they're outside the screen of the porch I'm on and I can't get to them.
After I got out of the crate last night I spent the night in a bathroom with a litter box, a cat bed (I preferred to sleep in the corner under a lean-to of plastic bin lids), a water dish and some kind of limitless food dispenser. I've got to say, I was pretty jazzed about the food until I tasted it. Blech. Dry, diet cat food. I must've died and gone to hell. Where's the bacon?!? I was told there'd be bacon here, and tuna, and fish... All I have so far are a couple of stinking dogs and diet cat food!
Oh yeah, I apparently also have a little girl. I spent the day under the big humans' bed--no, I wasn't sulking, I just wanted to be by myself and away from Those Dogs for awhile. Anyway, the little girl went off to some place called school this morning (she wanted to take me with her, I'm glad the big humans said no) and she earnestly promised me she'd be home soon to cuddle me. When she got home, I wouldn't come out from under the bed. The big female human had come upstairs earlier in the day, and when she called me, I came right out because I was sure she had brought me an offering of bacon. But no, she carried my downstairs and put me next to her on the back of the couch to pet me. All the while the dogs kept giving me the hairy eyeball because they wanted her to pet them and she kept scolding them and telling them to get down and leave me alone. Hey guys, this wasn't MY idea!
Now I've taken control of this communication device, and I'll use it to keep the word about my captivity in the south coming out. Uh, oh. She's home and calling for me... something about introducing me to the bunny. More joy.