Mindfulness

Just finished my piano lesson for the week and am settling into groundedness and mindfulness for the first time since we got back from Austin last Friday. I have to remind myself both to be grounded and mindful as crazy got back on the bus this week and I had the bright idea of going to London next week (as a family) to take Jessie to the Dr. Who Festival for her birthday. I heard about the festival this morning and just for a lark looked up ticket availability and airline tickets and there were really cheap airline tix available and still tickets for Sunday's Who festival (again, Dr., not The) with Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman. So I called Dave to see if he wanted to go and maybe make a run to the Dr. Who Experience in Cardiff while we were over there, and I was seriously shocked when he got really stressed and said no (as in ARE YOU HIGH?!?! NO!!).

It took me a couple of hours to figure out that I didn't think it was a good idea to go across the pond on a whim the week before going to Chicago for Thanksgiving (and the Dr. Who convention "Chicago Tardis" that we also do that weekend) either. Then I realized that I have a pattern that I have never acknowledged before where when life is out of sync for me and I'm not in my groove, I am not only easily distracted and liable to chase any squirrel that crosses my path, but I actively search out squirrels! You would think I am bored or something, but that's not it: I have several interesting projects on tap right now (not the least of which is managing the renovation on the new house which continues whether we are there or not). No, if I am out of sync with my life, I don't recognize my own destructive behavior and I am more likely to drive myself into exhausted hysteria than I am to make good decisions. Good decisions lead to a good time had by all and adventures aplenty. Exhausted hysteria is not an adventure, it's just exhausting.

My body tries to tell me when my mind is out of whack. I am clumsier than usual and totally off balance--I fell into a door frame today and whacked my hand on the pickets on the gate earlier today. I am tired, and restless, and can't automatically focus and relax.

But now that I know what I was doing, I'm hoping I can get back to me, I'm back in Atlanta, and I am firmly centered in the now of November 4th. Jessie's birthday. I should have written a post today about Jessie and how lucky I am to be her mom. Or I could have written a good-bye ode to Buttercup who is going to her new home next Friday. Instead, I had to get my head back on straight.